Shift of Tow

Dear Grass In My Yard,

I got a little slack at the end of last summer, and you ran rampant through my flower beds. I am writing to put you on notice: That’s not going to happen this year, and I’m busy right now pulling all of last year’s remnants out so you don’t get any ideas.

It’ll be easier for both of us if you remember your boundaries.

Sincerely,
Shelly

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Dear Daffodils and Crocuses,

Hi! Welcome! I had no idea you’d be here so early!

Love,
Shelly

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Dear Yellow Jackets,

I’m totally calling an exterminator to deal with you this year. You could, you know, leave before I do that and save us both the pain.

With fear,
Shelly

P. S. Don’t sting me.

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Dear Previous Homeowner,

You were a really great gardener, but I’m afraid that this year I am not going to treat my garden as if I’m just maintaining it for you. I will not think things like “well, I imagine they wanted this area to just be ground cover, so I’ll leave it that way.” I don’t know much about gardening, so I’ll probably kill a bunch of stuff, but better that than letting it be overrun by weeds.

I know, this isn’t about you or your expectations, especially since I never met you. I’m just saying.

Sincerely,
Shelly

P. S. Did you plant mums everywhere, or do they just spread like a disease?

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Dear Readers,

Hello! It’s been a while, huh? We’re putting in a vegetable garden this year, which ought to be a grand adventure. It’s February, and all this week the temperatures are supposed to be in the 60s. I love North Carolina.

Love,
Shelly