Shift of Tow

I’m having trouble finishing my dissertation. I really hate writing. What are your suggestions for finishing this large project?

If you haven’t already, start by breaking the whole big thing down into bite-sized pieces. You should do that in whatever way seems most logical. If you have several chapters to go, figure out what you need to do to get those chapters done and make a to-do list. It should have things like “write introduction about x” and “finish analysis on y” and “insert figures 1.1 through 2.5” and “make sure margins are [whatever].” If you look through the list and see a way to break something down further, break it down. Put the list on your wall. If you are daunted by the list, take a few tasks each week and put them on a separate list that you’ll keep on your desk. Work from that. Set aside a certain amount of non-negotiable time each day that you’re going to work on those tasks. Then do it.

Here’s the thing: With something like this, your big choice is to get it done, or to not get your PhD. It is kind of easy to sit in limbo between those two choices—sometimes without even realizing that’s what you’re doing—for years and years. It is also, forgive me, lame. I am allowed to say that because I have been similarly lame about lesser projects more times than you can probably fathom, being someone who is about to get a PhD. This kind of procrastination is you putting off living your life.

I am sorry that you hate writing, and that to do this awesome thing you have to do something you hate. I am completely sympathetic, because I have trouble getting shit done all the time, and every time I’m having trouble I can give you a laundry list of reasons why. But in the end the only choices here are: Get it done, or don’t get your degree. If you are set on getting your PhD—and I assume that you are—you just have to do it. Sulk, listen to the Cure, drink yourself to sleep, cry while you’re writing, whatever — just sit down and work at it, one bit at a time, until it’s finished.

We have such a mosquito problem out back. I am tempted to not weed again until it’s cool out there and the plants are dying and the mosquitoes have gone to wherever they go in the winter (mosquito heaven?). Today I went out and took a few pictures, then spent my time picking up debris from the wee little tropical storm that came through, then sweeping off the patio, deck, and carport. I did this instead of weeding because when I got out there I was instantly attacked by several mosquitoes, and spent the rest of the time out there doing the “don’t bite me” dance. I could probably help this by mowing, but it’s super-cloudy and about to rain, and our mower plugs into the wall. Ah, well.

I thought this was a weed, but it’s suddenly blooming. Maybe it is a weed, but now I don’t want to yank it out:

The flowers are papery and have little speckles on them.

There are three of these growing along the shady side of our house, and I don’t know what they are:

These little guys were choked off by the coreopsis and weeds; I bet if they hadn’t been, they would’ve been really gorgeous. Next year!

Someday I will know the names of all of these things. In the meantime, if you know, tell me.

Melissa has to work all weekend, so tonight needed to be a good, relaxing night. We have season two of Dr. Who on DVD, and I decided to make tacos.

I made corn tortillas, green salsa, tomato salsa, and cooked the chicken. I was just going to do it up with onions and cilantro, but we got our farm share early (tropical storm coming tomorrow morning, which is usually farm share time), and it contained a big pile of tomatilloes and a bunch of tomatoes. I could not resist. For the green salsa I used this recipe, which calls for roasting the tomatilloes. For the chicken, I just dumped a bunch of cumin, paprika, oregano, pepper, salt, lemon juice, and a jalapeño in with the chicken and kind of braised it in the oven. Corn tortillas aren’t that hard, if you have a tortilla press and some masa. Well, unless you insist that they are round. I made one round tortilla tonight, and I was so excited that I brought it into the office to show Melissa. The rest were tasty but ugly. The whole meal was fantastic.

Oh, and also? We have a toaster now. I threw our old one away when we moved and have been using the oven to toast bread in the morning. I forgot how much easier it is to use a toaster, or I would’ve bought one a lot sooner. I have so much love for this toaster right now that I am going to show you a picture.

My cat, Engels, has his heart set on attending Yale. I think he’d be wiser to attend a local state school based on finances. How can I convince him to be realistic in his education planning?

I’ve decided to let our cat, Kepler, answer this one. I feel that with a name like hers, she will have more understanding and sympathy than I ever could. She has chosen to write a letter to Engels in order to help, and asks that you pass it along to him if you please.

dear engels,

hello. it is hard to bear the burden of a super-intelligent human’s name, is it not? it is especially hard if you are, yourself, super-intelligent. i am sorry that your humans do not recognize your intelligence sufficiently enough that they want to spend more on your education.

however, here is my advice to you: do not go to college. they have nothing to teach you. we cats are born more intelligent than any human, which is why we live in their houses and they feed us and clean up our shit and puke while they also have to go to work and earn money. if you go to college someone might expect you to get a job, and if you get a job, you may ruin life for all cats.

i beg of you not to do that. i like my life and my catnip carpet and would not like working even if i was the director of the factory where they make kitty treats or the head gardener at catnip acres. though i would not mind visiting either place, if you know where they are and would like to take me.

as my mother likes to say, i hope that helps.

- kepler

It’s September and I’m still finding little surprises in my yard. This is the latest:

I don’t know what it is, but a bumblebee liked it and it has huge, succulent-looking leaves that get bigger toward the bottom.

I hate this stuff:

Sorry for the shadow in the picture, but this one gave a clearer shot of the plant than all the others. I have ripped out many of these little fuckers, because they show up all over my yard where I do not want them. This patch is out front, and I left it for now because it doesn’t seem to be choking anything else out. It probably has a limited number of days left, however. I want to know what it is before I rip it out, though.

Is this lantana or mint? It’s in a shadier part of the yard than the plant I identified as lantana, and we all know how mint spreads. I honestly can’t tell, though.

This morning I went outside to yank things up–that’s all the gardening I seem to be doing whenever I get out there, because there are so many weeds. Want to see what’s going on in our yard?

My favorite thing right now is the little patch of native sunflowers:

Melissa and I saw some lovely lantana growing out in front of Guglhupf (our favorite bakery), all pink and orange and yellow and perfect. I looked at our list of plants a few days later and realized that we were supposed to have lantana growing in the yard. The problem is, the leaves look a lot like mint leaves and too many of our plants have gotten overcrowded by weeds and by other plants spreading (I’m looking at you, coreopsis), so I didn’t know where it was. Today, I know: It is just in front of where we have the pots of vegetables, and it was kind of choked off by the love-in-a-mist remnants that I only yanked out a couple of weeks ago. Now it’s free and blooming.

Our smaller tomato is going through a burst of productivity right now. I’m not sure whether it’s because I got more conscientious about watering it or if it was just time:

The bigger tomato isn’t producing much and never has–I think we needed to be pinching it back all summer, and we did not. The tag said it was a determinate variety, but given the monstrosity of a tomato plant we have out there right now, I do believe the tag lied.